alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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