You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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