Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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