What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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