I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its about making memories worth repressing
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Randomize