he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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