I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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