I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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