considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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