They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize