well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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