i just wanna soil my oats bro
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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