Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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