member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i think i just lost a toe
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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