I got chris browned last night
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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