Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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