I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize