I'm really into asian looking animals
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize