I am puke
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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