moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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