You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize