what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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