My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize