Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
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I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize