Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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