i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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