I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The air was thick with penises
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize