I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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