32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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