You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize