i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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