He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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