Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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