Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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