is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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