he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize