oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize