I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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