theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize