I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
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Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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