i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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