Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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