My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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