foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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