Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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