1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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