If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I could fuck to npr.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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