Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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