This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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