I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize